This is a long and hot summer, and your news feed may feel like a group of people hurried out to socialize and date. (Although many of us, despite the pressure, not ready yet — This is totally fine. ) After more than a year of Zoom date and Dating app message, When a face-to-face meeting can be a struggle, Research from Tinder in May 2021 It was found that more than half of the respondents are particularly looking forward to casual dating this summer because of the increased availability of vaccines. But the year inside may give you, as Anna Iovine of Mashable said, FODA: the fear of dating again. When many of us spend time thinking about how to take care of our mental health during a crisis, how do we ensure that returning to the dating scene also prioritizes our emotional boundaries?

Although you may be anxious to schedule an IRL meeting, all Tinder matches collect dust in your app and worry about the next lock-in, but letting this emotion drive your dating life may not help you keep your best interests in mind.Expert told Lure Resist the urge to rush and prioritize direct conversations about your needs and needs. This is an important step in setting boundaries together.

“The thing I see most often is to cross your boundaries because you want to connect, especially after feeling disconnected for a long time.” Nicole L. Gonzalez, A licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, told LureIf you are both vaccinated, maybe your first date is satisfied with the sexual behavior of your first date, but you are not sure. Maybe you are the comfortable person. How do you deal with this conflict?

Familiar with your core values

Gonzalez has expertise in couple therapy and relationship counseling, and he suggests that the easiest way to avoid this conflict is to fully understand your own personal boundaries with regard to COVID, so you will be more aware when someone tries to cross the boundaries. Gonzalez says that if you are trying to truly define these values, taking the time to build them yourself will greatly help you prepare to explain them to others. Gonzalez says she often guides her clients to one of the many free websites List of hundreds of”core value“Think about it, and then write down the ones that resonate most with them. “You can boil it down to the values ​​around who you are… When you make a decision, when you think about things for yourself, you You can look at the back [to reference],” she explained. In this way, you already know what is important to you-therefore, what is important to you when dating.

Take it easy

Maybe you have started these conversations on the dating site. Colleen Novela, A licensed clinical social worker and therapist, told Lure Many of her clients began to find ways to date during the lock-up period. According to Novera, a couples counselor, the key at the time — and it should be the key when approaching the dating scene — was to take your time.

“Naturally, since everyone’s life has to be completely slowed down or even stopped under certain circumstances, people approach dating with the same caution and slowing down,” Novella said. Her clients often establish new romantic relationships through FaceTime chats to test everyone’s expectations, and opening up early helps this process. “I’m really proud of people being able to do this and really take the time to successfully navigate this new field, have these conversations and say,’What are you comfortable with? Where are you in this regard?'”

evaluate risk

This slowness and communication are key, because Novella points out that even though dating may be a little safer physically, it is still full of worries—we haven’t even gotten out of the predicament yet, worrying. Delta variants and breakthrough cases are on the rise“People have to make certain decisions, which may contradict what your friends or parents say about sacred and safe things,” Novella said. “People must negotiate what they need and balance the risks they take.”


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