Objectively speaking, goldfish is a perfect food. Little cheese crackers shaped like cute fish? Kind of not to love? When I was a babysitter in my early 20s, I ate a handful of cookies stolen from my bill and developed a deep nostalgia for the snacks that supported me while I was babysitting other people’s children. But the brand’s latest innovation, goldfish crackers sprinkled with beloved East Coast seasoning Old Bay, is a revelation.
Unlike the goldfish crackers most of us know, these goldfish are not tacky. The biscuits start out in the brand’s “original” flavor, then heavily flavored with Old Bay’s familiar celery, slightly spicy flavor. When I opened the package and it looked a lot like a yellow can from Old Bay, I was immediately taken back to the last time I sat on the Atlantic coast eating steamed crab.
They’re definitely better than the classic “original” goldfish, whose main flavor is mostly salt, and arguably better than the beloved cheddar, at least for adults, thanks to the lingering behind you A touch of pungency shovels into your face. The biscuits are also very versatile, being both an excellent drinking snack that pairs perfectly with a pale beer and a killer alternative to oyster biscuits on top of a bowl of clam chowder.
While these cookies don’t quite recall the ocean salinity of shrimp or crab cooked in tons of Old Bay, they’re like snack-sized reminders of your favorite lowland boil, perfect for those you already have neither Time also has no interest in cooking a bunch of seafood. They’re also orders of magnitude cheaper than a plate of crab legs, which is crucial in this age of inflation.
Old Bay Goldfish sold out almost immediately after launching this week, but parent company McCormick said it is now shipping spice-filled cookie bags to grocery stores across the country. Sadly, they’re still advertised as limited-time offerings, which means I’ll probably spend some time cruising around my local grocery store to build a pantry big enough to last a few months at least.